Are you and your spouse on the same page with your parenting?

Ever feel…..

Why do I always have to remind them….why can’t they just do it on their own?

They should just know..

Working together as a team in parenting is a challenging but necessary exercise. You have been raised differently and may have different ideas on how situations should be handled!

Finding strategies to work together is a process that can enhance your relationship even though it is tough at times.

Here are 3 tips that can make this a little easier

 

  1. Notice how you feel when you ask for support. Are you nagging, angry or upset? Being in a good emotional state improves your success

The way you feel when you are talk about who does what for the children has a huge impact on your result. Think carefully about what you would like them to do. Make a list of all that needs to be done and then based on your schedules divide the tasks up. Often, we ask when we are in a frustrated or upset state. This can cause your spouse to be on the defensive, it can appear as if there is judgement. When we approach the conversation by judging or making our spouse “wrong” there is a strong chance you won’t get co-operation. Find a time when you are in a good emotional state to have the conversation

  1. Timing of when you raise your needs influences the result. Choose a time outside the moment of need when you are in a good state together to raise your needs

Timing is very important. When you ask in the moment of need, you catch your spouse off guard, and you are usually not in a good emotional state. Both of these factors are the reason you often get the wrong response. When we do this consistently (because the need is there consistently!) it can get interpreted as nagging, it can feel like we are nagging. Take a moment to rather think ahead of time and ask for a time to chat about responsibilities when neither of you is rushed or in an emotional state. Have these conversations regularly, try what you have discussed for a week and then assess each time and adjust until you get a good combination of responsibility where both of you are satisfied.

  1. Approach from a perspective of “let’s problem-solve” rather than “asking” for help

When we “ask” for help we create the assumption that it is a favour for them to choose whether they help or not. This is a weak approach and results in inconsistent support. Often we choose this approach because it seems kinder and more caring, but actually it is both parties responsibilities to parent. When you approach the conversation with the assumption that you are a team and how are WE going to do this, we level responsibility. Include them in the decision-making process. 

“This is the situation, how do you think we should tackle this. I think we could do it this way. What do you think?”

We are not asking for help, we are planning the responsibilities together as parents!

 

These tips are just a piece of what you can do to ensure collaboration. If you would like to know more, join my free Webinars at the end of February where I talk more about it. The link will follow shortly on my website and social media  instagram.com/gail_shiftingperspective/

In closing

Use these tips and others I provide in my blogs.  I am here to support you through your entire parent journey

What You Should Do Next:

  1. Follow me on Instagram to make sure you don’t miss out on the link to register for the FREE Webinars
  2. If you have enjoyed this blog please share with a friend who you think would benefit from these tips
  3. Look out for my series of new FREE Webinars coming end of February 2022! THE COMPLETE PARENT SOLUTION. Strategies for your kids, how to manage your own emotions and how to get your spouse on board!

 

About the Author

Gail is a Family Relationship Coach specialising in Parent-Child Relationships. She is passionate about empowering and inspiring parents to develop children’s self-awareness. She believes that this can be achieved by balancing parent’s needs with children’s development and happiness. Understanding how to synchronise our thoughts and emotions and what drives them ensures our happiness, and our children reaching their full potential. Gail is a Qualified NLP Practitioner, NLP Life Coach and Emotional Freedom Techniques Practitioner with over 10 years’ experience and success at applying these techniques to children’s learning and behaviour. Her success with her own son is proof of the possibility of true potential

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