3 Tips to move from shouting to firm clarity

Do you find yourself reacting and shouting? Some days you can control your anger and other days not? It is easy to control our emotions when things go well, but as soon as we add stress, our emotions take over. The key is to take a step back from the situation and look at your real need.

Here are 3 tips to help you

  1. Take time for yourself regularly

Even when it feels impossible, make a plan, schedule time for yourself. Be brave, ask for help, even if they don’t do it the way you would. Being busy is sometimes easier and more comfortable, we feel important, but shouting is your body’s way of saying to you Hey!!! My needs are important. It is not our children’s responsibility to satisfy that, it is OURS! Taking regular time for ourselves and then being present in those moments and acknowledging this time to ourselves meets our needs and then enables us to assert our boundaries in a clear and firm way. Emotions cloud clarity!

  1. Pause and think about your need, how can you get your need met in another way?

When we pause to think of our need, can you think of how you could organize things differently going forward. Can someone help you with a lift? Can you change the timing of anything? Can you prepare anything the night before? Our first go to is often “there is no other way” BUT there is always another way. How can you commit today to making your need a priority? Changing the way you do things until you find a way that works leads to long-term peace. Feeling a bit uncomfortable and doing a bit uncomfortable comes before we reach peace!

  1. Plan, pre-empt situations with your children

Think of the specific situations when you shout most with your children. How can you have a conversation with them regularly and agree to a strategy to try and then keep coming back to reassess until you find a solution. Questions to ask yourself when you are having these conversations: How powerful do I feel in this moment? How can I feel strong in myself when we have these conversations? When we feel guilty, not that committed or don’t believe we can get it, these are all powerless emotions which influence our success. When we have certainty in us our children hear that certainty. Often when we end up shouting it is an indicator that we have not listened to ourselves and given in powerlessly several times before. Start to listen to your needs the first time even if it causes discomfort. The long-term gain is worth the lack of short-term peace. Focus on what you are doing consistently and not on your children’s behaviour

In closing

Use these tips and others I provide in my blogs.  I am here to support you through your entire parent journey

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About the Author

Gail is a Family Relationship Coach specialising in Parent-Child Relationships. She is passionate about empowering and inspiring parents to develop children’s self-awareness. She believes that this can be achieved by balancing parent’s needs with children’s development and happiness. Understanding how to synchronise our thoughts and emotions and what drives them ensures our happiness, and our children reaching their full potential. Gail is a Qualified NLP Practitioner, NLP Life Coach and Emotional Freedom Techniques Practitioner with over 10 years’ experience and success at applying these techniques to children’s learning and behaviour. Her success with her own son is proof of the possibility of true potential

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