Are your children still doing their school sessions at home during COVID? How are you managing getting them to into doing their work?
Many parents have chosen to still keep their children at home during this time and find it really challenging to balance being a parent and schoolteacher and making sure their children are learning and not getting behind.
Here are some tips on how to make this a little easier
- Educate and involve them on the structure of the routine
So often we are so busy managing their schedule especially when they are young and that can be exhausting if there seems no end in sight. What if we were in charge of the end rather than waiting for Covid to end? It is a good time to teach our children about their schedule and what comes next. You can then use this system to refer to when managing them so that we don’t end up nagging the whole time and that they eventually learn to self-manage.
Young children need concrete, simple things to follow. For example: set a standard order of events
1. We get up
2. We get dressed and have breakfast
3. We do a school session
4. We have pay timeIf we have this on a chart, they can easily see it and you can ask them what is next. This way you are developing their bigger picture of their day.
The most important part about this is the pre agreement conversation you have with them. Making sure that they understand that “this is the system we follow” and not a request from you is important. This conversation can be made the day before you implement it. Have a conversation about it, ask them if they think they can do that? Ask them what they think about it. The idea is to get their buy in so that you can refer to it when they don’t follow it on the day. Referring to the agreement helps separate you from telling them, to rather being on their team and following the system they agreed to.
- Focus on what life skill they are learning rather than the result of them sitting and doing the work
I know we really need them to just do it, but if we can come from an approach of teaching them to self-manage, we don’t have to be so attached to the outcome and so get less frustrated when they don’t. If you think about it, at school the system “runs” them with the bell and routine and teachers. Can we really expect them to just settle and get on with it? Maybe to start, we can have a shorter time frame and allow them to get used to the new learning framework, rather than how much they have to do. This usually settles them and they are then open to learning more. It reduces their overwhelm and ours.Even though this situation may have been “forced” on us, it is an opportunity to teach them to self-govern which will benefit them in the long run. The process takes time and when we focus on just being consistent with the process rather than on the result of what they are doing, it feels easier because we have control of it.
Setting up short small consequences for if they don’t do their work in the pre agreement frame can also develop their accountability. Again, the emphasis in our words is not the threat of consequence but on what we want them to learn. The consequence is just part of the system.
- Make sure we meet our own needs in our schedule
Looking at our own schedule and making sure that we have planned what we need for ourselves and work, are essential to be able to be patient and follow through with their learning. So often I find parents putting more time and emphasis on their children’s needs and put themselves last in the queue. When we approach our day with what we need set out and constant, we can then schedule theirs. Some items like their online sessions would obviously need to be considered a s long as our needs are not forgotten. If we consciously MAKE time for ourselves each day we get a double benefit. We show our children how to value themselves and us and we are able to be more consistent and patient. Even if this feels difficult or results in a bit of conflict to start, persist with it anyway, I guarantee it has a good long term outcome – your happiness and peace of mind. YOU are worth it!
These are just a few ideas and if you would like to learn more in more detail, attend one of my FREE Parent Talks where you will have the opportunity to ask me questions and get your solution in your situation.
Here is the link: https://shifting-perspective.ck.page/aug_ft