Qualities to develop in our children

If you missed it, here’s

Part 1: Developing commitment

Part 2: Developing courage

Part 3: Developing Curiosity

Part 4: Developing Consideration for others

Part 5: Developing the Quality of Self-Love

The quality of self-love is about taking the time each day to give to yourself, to consider yourself and your own needs as well as those around you.  When we take care of ourselves we have more to give.

1. Being the example

The best way children learn is by our example. How do you show yourself love and care? So often as parents we put our children, work and families first, forgetting about ourselves. That is what being a good parent is all about….maybe not. Giving to ourselves on a daily basis gives our children a frame of reference on how to take care of themselves. Some questions to ask:

  • What have I done for myself today?
  • Where in my day can I do something for myself?
  • How have I loved myself today?
  • What stops me from giving to myself?
  • How does that make me feel?
  • Where can I ask for help so that I can have some time for me?

2. Taking responsibility for their own schedule

When children take responsibility for their own schedules, even when they are little, it gives them something to base their decisions on. This creates the pattern of considering themself before making a decision. This prevents them from falling into the habit of going along with whatever is happening which can lead to self-neglect. Questions to ask:

  • What activities do you have on this week?
  • What do you need for them?
  • How will you remember to pack what you need? Help them to find a way to remind themselves. Don’t rescue them if they get it wrong. Don’t judge them if they get it wrong.
  • Does it involve anyone else?
  • Who do you need to tell about your schedule? How will it impact them?

Remember when they are little you would have perhaps done it for them. Start teaching them without the expectation that they will just be able to do it. It is not about whether they get it right, it is about developing their thought patterns around taking responsibility. Each time you teach them, it builds the muscle.

3. Respect for ourselves leads to respect for others and from others

Respect for ourselves is self-love. It is about listening to how we feel, acknowledging how we feel and not making ourselves wrong. When we are not feeling good, that is an indicator to listen and do something different. Often we ignore it or dismiss it and carry on. When our children aren’t happy, acknowledge them and ask:

  • How are you feeling?
  • What makes you feel that way?
  • What do you need?
  • How can you get what you need?
  • What do you need to do or say?

Developing self-respect is the first step in respecting others. When we know how it feels to be respected we will know how others feel when we respect them. Self-respect is about sometimes choosing what feels right even when others don’t like it. When we respect ourselves, others will respect us too.

Teach your children to respect themselves with each small choice they make daily.

Remember questions are the answer, they develop your children’s minds

Please post your feedback! What worked? Where did you get stuck? Are there any other topics you would like to read about?

Next week we will start a new series about developing daily success habits in your children

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